The Professor Layton Chatroom
by FranziskavonKarmaWhippedYou
Summary: The Layton characters go on the Internet. Enter a chatroom, MahHair, and buuuuurns! Filled with swearing & sexual references. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
1. Chapter 1

{{PuzzleMaster2012 has logged in}}  
>{{PuzzleApprentice2012 has logged in}}<p>PuzzleApprentice2012: OMG Professor u so stole mah name!<br>PuzzleMaster2012: What does that mean, my boy?  
>PuzzleApprentice2012: Look it up Google, Prof!<br>PuzzleMaster2012: Google? What is that nonsense?  
>PuzzleApprentice2012: Prof sometimes u make me rly embarased PuzzleMaster2012: You spelled embarrassed wrong, Luke. PuzzleApprentice2012: Fuck u prof.<br>PuzzleMaster2012: Language.

{{MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal has logged in}}

MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal: Haha! I bet you don't know who I am!  
>PuzzleApprentice2012: Oh hi, Don Paolo.<br>MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal: ...fuck you, kid.

{{PuzzleMaster2012 is BRB: "Googling"}}

MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal: Will he find his way to Google?  
>PuzzleApprentice2012: IDK probly not. so how r u?<br>MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal: Shit.  
>PuzzleApprentice2012: sounds bad. why?<br>MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal: Descole stole my job.

{{Wine has logged in}}

Wine: Hello, nincompoops!  
>PuzzleApprentice2012: What's a nincompoop?<br>MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal: Ask Layton. Wine: STFU.  
>Wine: :P MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal: -_-<br>PuzzleApprentice2012: SMILEY FIIIIIGHT!  
>Wine: xD MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal: D:<br>Wine: :D MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal: :3 Wine: x3 MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal: 3 Wine: o_O MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal: =D Wine: o.o MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal: I GIVE!  
>Wine: ^_^ MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal: Smartass.<br>PuzzleApprentice2012: we hate u descole.  
>Wine: Fuck you, boy.<br>MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal: *has joined Descole*  
>PuzzleApprentice2012: :(<p>

{{MahHair has logged in}}

MahHair: MAH HAIR BRINGS ALL THE GIRLS TO THE YARD Wine: My smexiness brings them to mine.  
>MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal: FUCK YOUUUUUUUU PuzzleApprentice2012: lol. so who r u hair?<br>MahHair: Clark. PuzzleApprentice2012: DAD?  
>MahHair: Damn, busted. Wine: Burn!<br>MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal: Muahahaha!  
>MahHair: You guys are so fucking nasty.<br>PuzzleApprentice2012: dad ur an idiot MahHair: :(  
>Wine: Lol.<p>

{{MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal's computer is a bitch.}}

MahHair: Hey Luke, why don't you go play with Toppy?  
>Wine: Yes, let the adults have their discussion.<br>PuzzleApprentice2012: Meanie.

{{PuzzleApprentice2012 is playing with Toppy.}}

MahHair: Still single?  
>Wine: Yep. No hot girls.<br>MahHair: Tried night clubs?  
>Wine: They kick me out.<br>MahHair: That's shit.  
>Wine: I know. How's your wife?<br>MahHair: Idk. Wine: You're the worst husband in the universe.  
>MahHair: IKR!<p>

{{PuzzleApprentice2012 is lurking.}}

MahHair: Fuck.  
>Wine: Buuuurn.<p>

{{PuzzleMaster2012 has returned.}}

PuzzleMaster2012: LUKE I FOUND OUT WHAT GOOGLE IS!  
>MahHair: Pfft...<br>Wine: Layton, I guarantee you that'll be on the front page of the news.  
>PuzzleMaster2012: How?<p>

{{SmexyClive has logged on.}}

SmexyClive: BECAUSE OF ME!  
>PuzzleMaster2012: Clive, you are not sexy.<br>SmexyClive: Yes I am, loser.  
>PuzzleMaster2012: :(<br>Wine: BUUUUUUURN.  
>MahHair: That is so his catchphrase.<p>

{{PuzzleApprentice2012 is loling.}}

SmexyClive: lolwut SmexyClive: That is the lamest username ever.  
>MahHair: I know. He is a noob.<br>Wine: Buuuurn!  
>PuzzleApprentic2012: u guys r losers SmexyClive: ^ is a bad loser Wine: BUUUUURN PuzzleApprentice2012: stfu SmexyClive: Anyway, how are you, Desc?<br>Wine: I'm fine. Raymond destroyed my toaster yesterday.  
>PuzzleMaster2012: Really? I thought he wasn't THAT clumsy.<br>Wine: Well, it's the cat's fault. PuzzleMaster2012: EXPLAIN.  
>Wine: The cat jumped on Raymond and the toaster fell.<br>Wine: AND it broke the wall.  
>SmexyClive: BUUURN!<br>Wine: Shut up, wannabe.  
>PuzzleApprentice2012: BURN!<br>Wine: That's my catchphrase, wannabes. Get your own.  
>SmexyClive: I hate you.<br>Wine: Because I'm sexier than you?  
>PuzzleMaster2012: Hang on a sec...<p>

{{PuzzleMaster2012 has changed their name to RubikCube}}  
>{{PuzzleApprentice2012 has changed their name to MiniCube}}<p>

SmexyClive: Such a wannabe, Luke.  
>Wine: BUUUURN!<br>RubikCube: LOL SmexyClive: Yeeeeeeeaaaaaah!  
>MiniCube: Is Don Paolo still dead? Wine: Let me call him on Skype!<br>RubikCube: What's Skype? Is it like Google?  
>MahHair: I fell off my chair :( SmexyClive: Skype is so not like Google... xD<p>

{{Wine has gone on Skype.}}

MahHair: INSERT TORTUROUS WAIT OF SILENCE.

{{Wine has left Skype.}}

Wine: Don's computer died. :( He has to fix it. MahHair: Goddammit. What happened?  
>Wine: It fell apart. SmexyClive: Lol, poor guy.<br>MiniCube: IKR.

{{RubikCube's computer died too.}}

MiniCube: PROFESSAH WHERED U GO Wine: Buuuuuurn. MahHair: HELL YEAH!  
>SmexyClive: Woo hoo! Layton finally got what's coming to him!<br>MahHair: Brb, my computer's about to do it too.

{{MahHair's computer died.}}  
>{{Flower has logged in.}}<p>

SmexyClive: Flora is that you?  
>Flower: Yep! Isn't my username great?<br>SmexyClive: Um, yeah, it's... awesome.  
>Flower: What does smexy mean?<p>

{{SmexyClive has changed his name to SexyClive.}}

Flower: ?

{{SexyClive has changed his name to SmexyClive.}}

Wine: Buuurn!  
>SmexyClive: xD Descole, you are a bastert.<br>wine: *bastard SmexyClive: This iPhone is gay.  
>Flower: How is it happy?<br>SmexyClive: Lol Hershel is a loser.  
>Wine: I know.<br>MiniCube: Flora, gay means homosexual.  
>Flower: Homowhat? MiniCube: ...never mind.<br>Wine: BUUUURN!  
>MiniCube: Noone likes u descole. cba typin properly.<br>Wine: BUUUURN! 


	2. Chapter 2

{{MiniCube has logged in.}}  
>{{MahHair has logged in.}}<br>{{Wine has logged in.}}

Wine: Luke, are you suicidal?  
>MiniCube: No, why?<br>Wine: So why the fuck are you climbing up giant machines again? Just watched footage of the Clive incident, AND YOU WENT STEAMING UP THE FORTRESS IN A CAR.  
>MahHair: At least he didn't RUN! :)<br>Wine: Stfu, Clark, your son is gay.  
>MahHair: :(<p>

{{MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal has logged in.}}  
>{{MasterOfDisguiseTheOriginal has changed their name to DestroyablesCo.}}<p>

DestroyablesCo.: Hey guys, I'm running a company now! :D Moneeey!  
>Wine: Let me guess, it's called "Destroyables Co."?<br>DestroyablesCo.: Wtf, how'd you know?  
>Wine: Your username gives it all away, Paolo.<br>DestroyablesCo.: Sometimes I hate you. Wine: :D DestroyablesCo.: And sometimes I love you.  
>Wine: D: WTF. Are you gay?<br>DestroyablesCo.: No. I just wanted to see your reaction xD Wine: Okay.

{{MahHair's computer has blown up in his face.}}

Wine: BUUUURN!  
>Wine: Haha, my explosive devices work! Next up is Luke.<p>

-Ten minutes later-

DestroyablesCo.: Hey Descole, I don't think it worked.  
>Wine: WHAT? But it was the exact same as Clark's!<br>MiniCube: sry i was away, just stoppin a bomb Wine: Luke you FUCKING BASTARD!  
>Wine: THAT WAS MY FUCKING BOMB! YOU DON'T JUST FUCKING STOP IT!<br>Wine: THE WIRING IS SO FUCKING INTRICATE THAT IT'S FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO STOP IT!  
>DestroyablesCo.: You jealous, Descole?<br>Wine: SHUT THE FUCK UP!  
>Wine: YOU'RE NOT EVEN CAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING SUCH FUCKING DIFFICULT FUCKING MATHE-FUCKING-MATHICS!<br>MiniCube: ...the bomb exploded in mah dads fayse when he came 2 help Wine: ...Fuck you, you little motherfucking bastard.  
>Wine: I will fucking kill you.<p>

{{SmexyClive has logged in.}}

SmexyClive: I heard these huge explosions! Did it- ...oh.  
>SmexyClive: I'll help you kill Luke :D wine: Exactly.<br>DestroyablesCo.: I'm joining!

{{SmexyClive is BRB.}}  
>{{Wine is BRB.}}<br>{{DestroyablesCo. is BRB.}}

MiniCube: *hides in the picnic basket*

{{Anonymous is lurking.}}

-Half an hour later.-

SmexyClive: Mmh, we might've gone a bit hard on him.  
>Wine: Nonsense! The little bastard deserved all of that!<br>SmexyClive: What will Hershel say?  
>Wine: ...shit.<br>SmexyClive: Well, we just have to wait for Don Paolo's recon to finish.  
>SmexyClive: Then we can plan ahead.<p>

{{DestroyablesCo. has logged in.}}  
>{{Flower has logged in.}}<p>

DestroyablesCo.: Good news - I hid the body under the trapdoor in the cellar and sealed it with superglue.  
>Flower: What body?<br>Wine: FUCK SmexyClive: FUCK DestroyablesCo.: FUCK Flower: Huh? Wine: BUUURN.  
>SmexyClive: Stfu. Anyway, Don Paolo, you sure he's dead?<br>DestroyablesCo.: Well and truly. SmexyClive: Yaaay! This causes for a celebration!  
>Wine: Already prepared with 50+ bottles of wine.<br>DestroyablesCo.: And I got all mah shots :)  
>SmexyClive: ...you guys make me feel stupid with my chocolate brownies.<p>

-One hour later-

Wine: Aaaand why did the whore cross the road *hic*?  
>SmexyClive: So I could fuuuuuck her yaaayz DestroyablesCo.: Personally I keep all my whores in mah basement Wine: Brb, stealing Don's whores DestroyablesCo.: Get your own, arsehole!<br>Wine: Yeah, I have my own. IN MY PANTS.  
>SmexyClive: xD DestroyablesCo.: Why do you always say things better than me?<br>Wine: Cause I'm sexy and I know it SmexyClive: Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle... how many are there?  
>DestroyablesCo.: Idk, 20?<br>SmexyClive: Wiggle x20 Wine: That works too, I guess. I just threw a bottle of wine at an old man Wine: He's calling me a turdface SmexyClive: ROFLMAO DestroyablesCo.: I saw an old man covered in grape juice by the window DestroyablesCo.: So I told him to pass me some juice DestroyablesCo.: He told me to go fuck myself Wine: BUUUUURN!  
>DestroyablesCo.: Stfu n00b. <p>


End file.
